My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
