i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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