Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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