I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
