im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
