it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
false alarm. still invincible.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
