Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
