i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
