Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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