her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
