I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You're like the curious george of whores
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
