let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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