He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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