just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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