I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
