You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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