6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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