I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
