I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
