new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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