you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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