It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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