We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
