I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
