i already hear my dad disowning me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
