We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
