I look better un-naked...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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