Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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