words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
