Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
