and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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