The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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