Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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