it wasn't lemon gatorade
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
