you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So gin and wine won't be happening again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
