The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Pooping to opera.
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