Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
this is an emotional support booty call
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
