I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
