turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
