She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
