I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize