Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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