Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
