I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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