I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
