my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
