Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize