I should be sponsored by Trojan
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
