You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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