for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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