he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
