4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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