I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize