That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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