i already hear my dad disowning me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My balls are so social today.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
