I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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