with your own penis?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
