too bad you live with your parents still
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
