He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
