I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
