Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
