Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
