why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize