What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
