Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
