You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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