I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
