So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize